| I believe it has finally happened, the effects of the sexual
revolution have finally demoralized the essence of our society. The quiet industrious
souls who are employed by this state to discover the licentious meaning behind the
seemingly innocent request for a California personalized license plate have informed me
that I too am guilty of indecency. I’m sure that these dedicated judges of truth and
moral wholesomeness slave hour upon hour trying to protect our values of common decency
and keep our streets free from signs of smut, however, the line between lude and ludicrous
has finally reached the ultimate in lunacy.
As it was explained to me by a gentle young woman working for the illustrious agency known as the DMV (letters that could not possibly have any other meaning than "Divinely Motivated Values"!), my request for a personalized license plate for our MGCGT was refused on the grounds that it might be considered obscene. She explained, as quietly and delicately as she could, that this deviate request for a plate which read "MGCGT69" had all sorts of ulterior meanings not the least of which was that the "MGC", obviously sighted the initials of one person whose morals were very questionable, and "GT" who was certainly someone totally lacking virtue, were being "united" in a disgustingly explicit manner right there above my bumper. Well, you can imagine my shame! With great difficulty, I gathered what was left of my shattered thoughts and proceeded to explain how I had unwittingly been told that "MGC" was the make and model of car I had so innocently purchased. The "GT" was to stand for Grand Tourer, designating the automobile as a hard top rather than a roadster/convertible. But, the explanation of the 69, ahhhh, that was the most difficult. In truth, we believed it stood for the year in which the car had first been sold (but it is common knowledge that the definition of a specific model year versus the production year versus the year of sale, always leaves the actual date open to unscrupulous people). I was lucky to have been able to bare my soul to such an understanding individual. In an effort to erase my humiliation, she telephoned the land of the Pure (otherwise known as Sacramento) and explained the reason for the outrageous statement that I had wanted to place on my automobile. The powers of truth were kind and willing to pardon my error, if I did my penance. This task for me was to sign a written statement that these letters are not intended to suggest its lude counterpart, but that they simply identify a vehicle (of questionable taste at this point, I’m sure) and that I would vow to explain my reasoning to any and all who might misinterpret. Humbly, I signed my name and thanked one and all for being so forgiving. And so, my friends, I am hereby making public my confession that "MGCGT69" does not stand for anything off-color or crude. Now "M TYPE MG" on the other hand, is a different matter . . . .
(Editor’s note: Remind me to explain the problems I had registering my convertible MGC as "4 BALL" - but that’s for another day. |
